Canada Goose

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Canada Goose Jackets have swept Harvard with incredible popularity. Students frequently remark at their warm, comfort, and $800 price tags (The cost of 6 weeks food for a family of 4). The brutal cold winters take their toll on weary students as they walk to soup kitchens and volunteer tutoring sessions; often Canada Goose jackets are the only thing protecting them from mild discomfort.

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What makes the ubiquitous, $800 Canada Goose jacket better than equally warm clothes from plebeian targeting companies? Some argue branding. Canada Goose, named after the common flying beasts of Canada, is a witty oxymoron. Canadian Geese are known as “a pest species because of their depredation of crops and issues with their noise, droppings, aggressive territorial behavior, and habit of begging for food, especially in their introduced range.” The name is also an allusion to job market trends – “Canada geese are also among the most commonly hunted waterfowl in North America,” just as the Harvard student is most frequently sought after by head hunters.

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The physical design of the jacket can be considered nothing short of a masterpiece. The famous “Citadel Parka” is donned with an attractive coyote fur hood proving that dead draped animals are still in vogue. Ambiguously Advertised “Arctic-Tech” is expertly designed to provide superior protection in “Extreme Conditions” such as walks between $15,000 dorm rooms and white-male dominated clubs.

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My personal favorite aspect of Canada Goose jackets, their beautifully designed patches, is also their greatest downfall. Despite the advanced copy-protection techniques that are embedded in the red, white, and blue patch, they are still notoriously easy to duplicate. I, therefore, have taken the liberty of attaching an imitation logo to a used Patagonia jacket. Each season I claim that it is the company’s newest item, unavailable in stores.

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